An Introspection 3

Celebrating 3 wonderful years with Andrew and Kathlena home!

Introspection3 from Gina Shiflet on Vimeo.

Be sure to see "An Introspection" from previous years!

An Introspection 2   2010

An Introspection      2009

Where did I come from and where do I belong?

Mommy and Andrew kissing Calvin

I was recently asked by a friend to post on her blog on this issue.  I thought I would also share my thoughts here. 


The issue of telling our children or being asked questions about why they were adopted is one of the most feared moments by most adoptive parents. When viewed Biblically, however, these can be some of the most endearing times with our children as we trust God more than shying away from these conversations in fear.  The underlying belief of this fear is that somehow by discussing our adopted child’s background, we will diminish our fatherhood or motherhood in their eyes. But our thinking needs to change: when we are the ones to speak without embarrassment or fear to them about these most critical life questions and walk with them through the deep waters of truth (that may be painful), we are demonstrating conclusively who we are to them--Mother and Father.  It is an opportunity for our parent-child relationship to grow deeper together, not drive us apart.

My husband and I adopted two children almost 3 years ago. They were 3 years and 5 1/2 years old when we brought them home. Our 3 yr old daughter, Kathlena, has no memory of her time in Russia outside of our stories and pictures. Our Andrew on the other hand, not only remembers us coming for him, but also his life in the orphanage. In the beginning this was very difficult for me to accept; some stories he would tell me broke my heart, as his mother, that he had to endure. It also revealed to me my unbelief and fear that somehow his past could diminish who I am to him--his mother.  There were times I did not want to hear the stories, not because they were tragic, but because they were a reminder of a time I wasn’t there and that hurt me; in a way I had to wrestle with the Lord through this hurt to accept His plan over mine.   I had to come to the place where I believed what the scriptures teach about adoption.  He is my son and nothing from his past or future will change what God has decreed.  I came to realize God's great mercy on all of us through the contrast between our children--our daughter who has no memory and our son who does. Andrew helped me to see clearly the Lord's sovereign hand of grace on his life and mine; not only that God chose for him to be adopted out of that life, but that the Lord had watched over him, protected him from conception, and still protects under our watchful care. No matter how much I love my son, Christ loves him more. It is this perspective that the Lord has used to help my husband and me to help our children understand the Lord's redemptive plan in their lives through their adoption. My favorite phrase from scripture for my son Andrew is "...But God". Since bringing Andrew home and seeing glimpses of the life he had, I cannot hear the song "Amazing Grace" without tears, thoughts and pictures forever etched in my mind of the frozen prison of hopelessness he came from...But God in His mercy chose for Andrew a different life, a different heritage with us to bring Himself glory. Through this picture I see myself; I see the Lord delivering me from the chains of sin to a different heritage of hope in Christ. How amazing and glorious is our God!

Our Kathlena began around 5 years of age to ask questions. She had heard her brother, Andrew, talk about being from Russia, which gave us a very natural opportunity to speak to her about her adoption as well. I am sure that I will never forget our first real conversation initiated by her about her adoption. It went like this.

"Mommy, Why after I was born from your tummy did you leave me in Russia?"

My response: “gasp, what?!?” Falling to my knees before her to search her eyes that she really believed this, I answered "Oh no, my sweet baby girl, Mommy did not leave you. You were born from another lady's tummy that God placed you in. The Lord purposed for you to be born in Russia, and He planned, before the foundation of the world (Ephesians 1:4), for Daddy and me to adopt you as our daughter at precisely the time we brought you home. My sweet daughter, there are many things in this life that I do not understand, why some things are the way they are, but I trust Christ and His Word more than what my eyes can see. I thank Him everyday that He gave you to me and that I get to be your mother forever." She smiled and hugged me tight and went on about her play. As time has gone on we have had many more conversations, and they are all rooted in our strong belief that the Lord sovereignly placed her and every other child in our family, whether by birth or adoption, for His glory.

Some of these conversations with both our adopted children have been difficult (more for Mommy and Daddy), but they have been very fruitful. These are opportunities to remind them that they are in our home to stay; we often remind them that "you will always be my son/daughter, and nothing you do or say will ever change that. I love you because God gave you to our family"! Through these conversations with our children that God has given to us through adoption, I have seen them grow in their security as our son and daughter. Biblical adoption means we are sons or daughters of God; brothers or sisters to Christ with all the privileges that entails-this is glorious! As believers of the great Gospel of Christ we are heirs with Him. There is no shame in our adoption in Christ--this is the great example for our children given to us through adoption. We speak boldly, with great excitement of our glorious adoption in Christ and how the earthly adoption of two of our children serves as a “3-D” picture of our own adoption in Christ. 
Are there hard realities of their past? Yes! But as believers of Christ, we must trust the Lord to give us wisdom of how much (and when) we share those realities, while at the same time always pointing to the amazing grace of our Lord to have delivered them from orphan life for His glory and their even greater need for Him to deliver them from the bondage of sin that is within all of us. Helping them as they have questions about where they came from and how they got here are great Gospel opportunities and healthy for them to grow in their security of where God has placed them now. Knowing it wasn't by chance--it wasn’t anything they did or didn't do--but by God's amazing grace is a powerful comfort and peace to them and to us. 
Some ways that we have been intentional about facilitating discussions and boldly displaying our love for adoption to our children are through tangible displays in our home, open conversations with family and friends, and supporting and encouraging other families who are adopting.  We have a large multi-picture frame filled with pictures from our first moments together as a family in Russia that is prominently displayed in our dining room next to a large scroll with the scripture of Ephesians 1:3-11 (referencing our adoption in Christ).  We celebrate that glorious day that we were united together as a family all year long.  I also made a large collage of mementos that has their plane tickets, Russian Rubles, a Russian artist’s painting of St. Basil’s, their first picture that we received of them, etc. that hangs in our entry hall.  From these displays I have overheard conversations between all of our children about how happy and exciting this time was for our family as well as questions about their adoption and life before we came for them.  Andrew has even begun to show his friends who come over and talk about it with them, which also facilitates more conversations with us about how he can respond to questions other people ask him. 

Mementos Collage

Scripture Scroll and pictures framed from our trip bringing our children home from Russia.

My husband and I often speak to prospective adoptive parents about our story openly with our children by our side.  As a family we pray regularly for families who are in the process of adoption.  When these families bring their children home, we celebrate with them by waiting at the airport with banners, tears and cheers when they pass through those long-awaited doors, having crossed the finish line of the process to life at home.  This has been one of the most exciting ways to demonstrate support in which our whole family has been involved.  In the past year and a half we have had the privilege of going to meet three families who have brought children home from China, Russia, and the Ukraine, as well as attending one domestic court hearing to finalize an adoption.  We are currently praying for two families in our church now who are in the adoption process and look forward to the day we stand and cheer at the airport and courtroom that another child has been brought home through adoption.  It is in these moments of celebration that we reinforce to our children our great joy and love for adoption, as well as reaffirming adoption as a normal part of our life.  God places children into families by birth and adoption with equal standing.  One is no greater or less of a means for a family to have children than the other.  Through intentional displays of our love for adoption, we facilitate conversations about adoption as a normal part of life.  Since adoption is something to be celebrated, discussed, and rightly understood from a Biblical perspective, we as parents (and our children!) have nothing to fear or lose by engaging in the realities of how they came to be adopted. 
But this is the catch: whether the discussions with our children about their backgrounds just happen naturally, or whether we have intentionally set the stage for questions to come up, we as parents must absolutely believe that adoption is not “second best”. Many of us longed for children, and adoption was one of the ways we received children; for some it was the only way. But either way, we are blessed in our souls to embrace the fact that adoption results in “real” children. Our children need most from us to see that we really believe that fact! They need to look into our eyes and see security, confidence in the reality of their adoption, and satisfaction that God has provided. It was God’s sovereign hand of grace that grafted them into our family, just as He has grafted those of us who are believers into His family through the sacrifice of His only son, Jesus.

Two years ago today

Taken May 12, 2010 Galveston Trip
It was two years ago today that officially Andrew and Kathlena became Shiflets. Time has passed so quickly and those two tiny Russian speaking children have blossomed into two confident, loving, adorable little kids. This second year has been a year of really getting to see a deeper level of their personalities emerge and take shape. With the addition of another younger brother there was a new time of bonding as the six of us experienced the birth of Calvin together. Watching Calvin grow through my pregnancy and as an infant has given us many occasions to speak about life and their adoption. The questions of where they were born and how have come up and we have chosen not to romanticise their past, but to be honest. Simply, much we do not know. Just like times in our lives when the Lord chooses not to reveal how or why something has happened, but we are to trust in faith knowing that He is good and His ways are best we are teaching our children (all of them) to accept that sometimes there will be no answers this side of eternity. What we could share with them as appropriate for their age we have been honest with them about. One thing for sure that we talk about is the amazing journey through faith that the Lord took us on to bring them home. The joys of seeing them for the first time, the pain of leaving them and the faith that the Lord would reunite us in His perfect timing.

It has been especially sweet to talk about those first few weeks with them and hear their side of the story since their English has broadened and matured to where they are able to better articulate what they remember. Of course most of Kathlena's memories are pictures and video she has seen, but that is okay as she is learning from hearing the story of love that joined us together. Andrew remembers snapshots of things and feelings of excitement over having a family...you can see it in his face when he tells the story of seeing us for the first time and leaving with us never to return to the orphanage. He was asked one time by some friends what his favorite thing about Russia was. His answer was simply, "meeting my parents". Wow! I am not sure I will ever grasp what that feeling was like for him. I know for me it was one of the happiest days of my life.

We spent the day together and had the opportunity to have dinner at a friends house. They too are adopting from Russia. They have a 14 month old son waiting for them now and Lord willing they will be bringing him home in little over a month. It was such a joy to share in their journey and see them meet their son for the first time...brings back sweet memories. We rejoice on this day for what the Lord has knit together in our family and for our dear friends who wait to bring their son home also.

We also talked about another family in our church who is right now in China with their daughter whom they will be bringing home soon. Adoption is something that is talked about frequently in our home and church and I am grateful that our children will grow up knowing many children who have been adopted from foreign lands and right here in America also.

While we have had struggles over the past two years too, the Lord has extended us much grace and continues to do so day after day as new things unfold. I love all of my children and treasure these days I have with them. I know they are but a vapor and before long their childhoods will be distant memories. How thankful I am to be their Mommy and to spend my days with them...a job I would not trade for anything else in this world.

Our Family Day Anniversary

Today

One year ago


One year ago

A whole year ago today Andrew and Kathlena became Shiflet's. It seems a lifetime ago. They have changed so much that I hardly recognize them from their pictures only a year ago.
Andrew is so bright, inquisitive and helpful. He has a generous heart and is very protective of his sisters...especially Kathlena. They still have their squabbles like all siblings, but he always thinks of her when he gets a treat and is ready to share. Andrew can count to 100 and is on the verge of reading...quite amazing considering he has had to learn so much with one eye patched mostly and a whole new language. He loves to see how things work and to build his ideas in the wood shop with his daddy. He is also quite the little theologian as he has memorized over 50 questions in the Catechism For Young Children. He has an incredible capacity to memorize songs also. Some of his favorites are In Christ Alone, Let All Mortal Flesh Keep Silent, Psalm 1, and Jesus Thank You to name a few. He also has a real aptitude for music particularly the piano. He has learned to play by ear. He can play parts of Beethoven's 5th symphony and the songs he hears Emily and J.Michael practice. Despite a challenging year with his vision he has coped and excelled in all areas. We are so glad to have his surgery soon and he is too. We have so many more experiences and opportunities to grow together in the upcoming year. We love you our sweet son.

Kathlena is a completely different child from the frail little girl we brought home a year ago. She is beyond blossoming. I could never have imagined in those early months that we would be where we are now. She is so smart, happy, beautiful, strong, confident, and just a joy to be around. I look at her early pictures now and really see her sadness. I didn't see it then, but after seeing her now it is so apparent how her former life had robbed her of her joy and being the vibrant little girl that she is. Praise the Lord for freeing her and giving her to us. She is mommy's little helper and loves to play with her brothers. She can keep up with them whether it is on bikes, running and playing in the yard or playing nerf or cap guns. She is quite the rough and tumble and loves every minute of being outside. She has even gotten a little tan, but then living in Houston how could she avoid it! Her growth has been phenomenal as she has gained over 10 pounds and grown 2 1/2 inches in a year. Her hair is long, thicker and curly...just beautiful! I have to say that her smile and that laugh can make the sourest attitude melt away. She is our sweet little cutie whom we love so much and we are so blessed to be her mommy and daddy.

Cleared for Surgery

We are ready for surgery and most of all Andrew is ready and excited to have this surgery. We completed our pre-op evaluations with the pediatrician and with the ophthalmologist. Andrew is still at a strong 20/50 and will have surgery on only his left eye. The surgery is outpatient so we will arrive early on the morning of June 3rd at Gramercy Outpatient Clinic in Downtown Houston. This clinic is actually right across the street from where we go to see Dr. Mazow so it is familiar territory for us. Little Andrew will have to have nothing to eat after midnight the night before until after his surgery, so we are hoping for an early surgery time slot. At this point we will not know the exact time of the surgery until the day before.

We start giving Andrew antibiotic eye drops at 3 days prior to surgery (pray for him on this it is not fun for him!) After surgery we will have to give him the same drops plus an anti-inflammatory eye drop several times a day. He will have no bandages after surgery, but we have been told that it is possible to have bruising although not likely. He will however likely have red, bloodshot eyes for a day or two and his eye will feel like he has sand in it. The most difficult of the post op time is that for 2 weeks he cannot swim, even get bath/shower water in his eye nor any dirt. So, basically he can't be a BOY for two weeks! Well, we will catch up on a few movies and learn some new board games to play. Any suggestions for fun games is greatly appreciated.

It is strange I am finding myself grieving this change a little. Andrew's eye has just been part of who Andrew is so the thought of how different he will look has taken me by surprise. I know it will be better in every way, but that cute little eye turn is part of my first memory of seeing my sweet little boy. I will miss it. Just as one day the little boy diminishes and the young man emerges, life is about changes...we never stay the same.

Thank you to the many who have encouraged us throughout this year as we have journeyed through this process that has led us to surgery at this appointed time with this specific doctor. We are so thankful for the many prayers and notes of encouragement over the past year.

Emily-Sr. Speech Presentation

This year Emily and J.Michael participated in a new speech class through our church. Throughout the year they prepared and presented a series of speeches and then chose one to present at the final Homeschool Support Group meeting through our Church. Here is Emily's speech. We are very proud of Emily's hard work to present this speech. You may notice the video is a little shaky at times...well let's just say I had a little helper. :)

*remember to turn off the blog background music in the sidebar

J.Michael's B-Day Part 2

Instead of wraping J.Michael's present we decided to do a treasure hunt. Emily our master riddler got to work on clues from the Star Spangled Banner that lead J.Michael to his gift. It was a fun adventure for all of us. Here is our hunt by video.

J.Michael's 11th Birthday

J.Michael has grown up to be a bright, handsome, brave, strong, witty young man. I am in awe of how my little boy is becoming a man right before my eyes. He has grown what seems a foot in the last year and is quickly approaching my eye level which I am sure will only be fleeting as he surpasses me by his next birthday. J.Michael and I got to spend the afternoon together, just the two of us running errands and completing preparations for his birthday. He requested an ice cream cake from Coldstone (a family favorite I would add). He also got to make the dinner menu which consisted of Fried Crawfish tails, Mom's kefir cornbread and Emily's famous tossed caesar salad.
After our delicious dinner that J.Michael and I cooked together (he is also a great helper in the kitchen-one day his wife will really appreciate that he knows his way around a kitchen) J.Michael opened his presents. He previously opened his gifts from grandparents last weekend since they were in town for Kathlena's birthday. His gift from Dad and Mom came with a twist--instead of unwrapping his gift he had to follow clues for a scavenger hunt that led to his gift. The clues Emily, our riddler, made them up from the lines of the star spangled banner. It was quite clever and fun.
The surprises continued as he opened another surprise which was a borrowed copy of the third installment of The Lord of the Rings movie. J.Michael had been looking for this movie all week and we kept him in suspense thinking we could not find a copy to watch and that we would have to do something else. He was a great sport about it all and many thanks to the Beach family who let us borrow the movie and was in on the surprise!
In the words of J.Michael "It was one of the best birthdays yet!"
J.Michael we love you and will always love you. We pray that the Lord would accomplish much for His kingdom through you in your devotion to Christ.

J.Michael-Jr. Speech Presentation

J.Michael is in his 3rd year of speech presentations and this year he chose a topic close to his mother's heart...the Benefits of Chocolate. J.Michael you did a great job researching, writing, memorizing, and presenting this very important topic. Your Father and I are so proud of you. You are growing into a young man so quickly and we are so thankful you are developing your talents to use for the glory of God.
Andrew was always ready to listen to big brother's speech. Especially since J.Michael would give out chocolate to his audience each time he presented it. Andrew memorized almost half of J.Michael's speech from listening and encouraging his brother. Only Andrew would say it was the Benefits of Shoc-o-lot. Also, a topic close to Andrew's heart!
Great Job! J.Michael keep up the good work.

We love you, Mom and Dad

First Tummy pics

Today is our 4 month check up with the midwife. All is going well, I am growing, growing which is good. Most of my clothes are t-i-g-h-t so, I am wearing the last of my regular clothes for a while. We were playing in the kitchen and I guess the kids noticed my belly more than usual so, Emily grabbed the camera and took some pictures. Here are a few. All of us are so excited about our newest Shiflet and anxiously await his/her arrival.



My baby bump is starting to show and we
are all getting excited






Andrew asks almost every day if he can feel
the baby kick him yet. Not yet, but it won't
be long.



Kathlena likes to pat my tummy and say, " baby Shiflet get out,
I want to see you!"

Kathlena's Birthday Party

We celebrated Kathlena's first birthday party with both sets of grandparents and Uncle Todd at our home. Kathlena being 4 years old seems like such a big jump from 3. I am not sure why that is, but it has seemed an even bigger leap considering Kathlena has gone from looking/talking like an infant to being this vibrant, energetic, confident little girl. She is a rough and tumble and keeps up with her big brothers, but also is very prissy and loves pretty dresses and babies. She is such a little mommy. Having a little brother or sister soon will suit her very well.

Her Uncles keep her outfitted in pink camo and J.Michael topped the day with a pink cap gun that she had to wear right away as you will see in the slide show below.

*be sure to pause the music in the sidebar to hear the video.

Happy 4th Birthday Kathlena!

Hard to believe that our little Kathlena is already 4yrs old. All week we have been working with her to hold up 4 fingers and say "I am 4" when someone asks her how old she is. It is also hard to believe she has only been with us for almost a year now. This 4th birthday being our first together. We missed it last year by 20 days, although we were sad then it has been a sweet first celebration as we are finishing our first year together. We had so much fun going to Party city to pick out her birthday theme--1st Birthday Girl with pink butterflies in patchwork.

A funny story--when we were checking out at the store the clerk asked whose birthday it was to which I replied, "Kathlena" while pointing to her. The clerk then proceeded to ask her how old she was and Kathlena responded with "4" while holding her little fingers up. The clerk continues to check out our party favors, cups, napkins etc. that all state "1st Birthday Girl". At one point I think that she is going to make mention of this, but apparently decides not to. I would have gladly explained as I am always willing to share our story of adoption.

Kathlena's grandparents are also coming this weekend for her party on Saturday. Her Uncle Todd also. She received birthday cards from her great Aunt Susie and great Uncle Nolan as well as her great grandmother--Mema. Here are some pictures of her opening them

Card from Mema


Card from the Mackey's
*don't forget to pause the music in the sidebar when listening to videos

Hmmm...looks like surgery stands at May 27 or will it?

Our visit with Dr. Moffatt at Family and Child Eye center went well...we think. The good news is that Andrew has definitely improved since his last visit with Dr. Mazow. On his vision test he was a strong 20/50 in his left eye the best he has done since he has been with us. Dr. Moffatt concurred that surgery was imminent and that we should proceed with surgery as scheduled. He did not even suggest any vision therapy until after surgery. We were however disappointed that he felt Andrew would need much longer therapy than the first optometrist had suggested. Dr. Moffatt felt he would need 2yrs post surgery where previously we were told 9 months. We left still very skeptical and unsure since we are being told that while we will be given things to do at home we have been strongly cautioned that it needs to be done under the careful instruction of vision therapists not attempted on our own. This line of thinking I am familiar with. It is what many told me about home schooling--leave this to professionals. So, if we do vision therapy you can be sure that I will be taking careful notes and perhaps looking for a vision therapy textbook. Much for us to consider and pray about. Unfortunately, none of the vision therapy is covered by insurance and it is very pricey. I am not sure how we could afford it even if we wanted to do it--trusting the Lord for His provision should He lead us to do this. On a more positive note though I noticed how automatic Andrew's recognition of his letters has become. I am still convinced that Andrew has needed more time for his language to catch up before we could really get a good idea of where his vision is lacking and where he is developmentally.

This of course is the great challenge when adopting internationally because you know that there are delays (many that can be overcome in the natural course of life), but always the possibility that additional help may be needed in areas that have gone untreated for longer periods of time or where real damage has been done. For Andrew we have felt all along and continue to feel that most of his developmental issues are/were institutional effects--like the lack of opportunity to learn some basic skills when he was younger.

We talked to Dr. Ky about our visit with Dr. Moffatt, and Dr. Ky was not ready to concede just yet to surgery so he made another call to a Neurological Chiropractor who mentored him and asked for some advice. We continue to be amazed and thankful to the Lord for sending us Dr. Ky to advocate for Andrew and encourage us.

Interestingly, Dr. Ky's mentor had some activities for us to try with Andrew at home (finally, this is what we have been asking for since we first set foot in a Dr.'s office 10 months ago!!). He suggested 15mins a day of each of these activities: crawling, marching, and using an upper body ergometer (device you can use to pedal like a bike with your arms). Andrew could crawl just fine, but when we tried the marching he was all over the place and not able to control his arms at first. We worked with him to show him how to get control and his timing down and in no time he was really making some progress. He definitely did not learn this activity and apparently it is useful in developing a certain part of the cortex in the brain related to visual development. Now, we couldn't say for certain that--again because of lack of opportunity--he hadn't learned this or is there some damage to this area that is causing him to have difficulty with this activity. We think the former, but from a neurological chiropractor's stand point, whether there was damage or lack of opportunity working this "like a muscle" and strengthening it along with Andrew's chiropractic adjustments we could see an improvement in his vision, even the possibility of his eye straightening. We continue to hold out hope, but have a peace that if surgery is still needed we will do what is needed.

What the neurological chiropractor is telling us makes sense as we took the same approach in teaching Andrew English "lets start at the beginning" then move forward. So, we did many activities that you would do with an infant, and he of course progressed quickly through these simple skills, but I have to wonder would we have hit a wall by now linguistically had we not taken that approach. Had we skipped what seemed too simple because of an artificial need to have him "at level". Hard to know. We have felt all along less is more which is why we have been reluctant to pummel him with specialists who hear his background and immediately jump to the worst conclusion and want to subject us and Andrew to every kind of therapy and test. Simply time and the ability to work with him at home with the freedom of homeschooling to tailor his time and learning to what he needs most we believe has given him a more stable environment to bloom in. This is not to say that we would not seek additional help, but that we are not running to dozens of specialists first in that critical first year.

For our family what was most important was for us to get to know Andrew, and for him to trust us, and for us to trust the accuracy of any analysis of him. When evaluating what doctors tell you it is critical that as a parent you know your child well enough to know if this is too much right now or a waste of time. The phrase we hear most often is "the younger the better" and while this is true it is unreasonable to think that we could undo 5+ yrs in less than a year--no more than I could set out to be an astronaut in 10 months :).

We could not be more proud of Andrew and all that he has accomplished in almost a year. He remains an extremely bright, sweet, strong, brave and loving child. By God's grace he is growing by leaps and bounds still. As his parents, by God's grace we continue to prayerfully consider what is best for Andrew as a whole person. It is one of the greatest challenges as a parent, but we know that the Lord is faithful to give us wisdom when we seek Him.

Twists and Turns

All I can say is that we are seeking wisdom from the Lord with all of our hearts. Our visits with the Chiropractor are going well and Andrew seems to be showing some signs of improvement. Not specifically an improvement of visual acuity which is what the ophthalmologist is looking for, but some improvements in other areas.
We were talking to our Chiropractor about where we were at with Andrew's vision and Andrew's patching regiment. Dr. Ky again suggested that we consider vision therapy. We talked more in depth about our experience with the optometrist and vision therapy. We thought, well that was that, and didn't think too much about it. But at our next visit Dr. Ky told us that he had talked to his brother in law who is one of the partners at the Child and Family eye clinic that we had taken Andrew to for an evaluation. We were shocked to find out that he had a brother in law there that was one of the partners. We were even more surprised that Dr. Ky of his own initiative spoke to Dr. Moffatt (the brother in law) on our behalf. Dr. Moffatt was interested and told Dr. Ky that he would personally look into Andrew's case. When Dr. Ky told us about this we were so blessed by his actions and believed that the Lord may be re-opening this door of vision therapy. Even more strange is that we later found out that Dr. McMain's whom we previously saw was no longer with the practice and that her emphasis was on the learning therapy...which was what turned us off as we were looking for vision help--not play therapy, because we wanted to do that at home!

So, we decided to schedule an appointment with Dr. Moffatt specifically and will be seeing him tomorrow to re-evaluate Andrew. From Andrew's file he said that he would never have recommended that we stop patching unless we were doing vision therapy and that he felt he would likely still need surgery. He was also puzzled as to why it took us 2 months to complete the evaluation. So, now we are cautiously, prayerfully reconsidering the possibility of vision therapy. Please join us in prayer as we seek the Lord's wisdom . In the end it is His will that we want to be done. I can't help but think about so many providential events and people that the Lord has placed in our life over the past few months, when it seemed all hope was gone and that we were to just accept that we had accomplished the best for Andrew's vision. Seemingly, out of no where, a door has opened that the Lord may use to accomplish healing in Andrew's life to "restore to you the years the locusts have eaten" -Joel 2:25

A window into the womb

Today we were so very excited to hear Baby Shiflet's heartbeat for the very first time. He/she is now 12 weeks along...almost the size of an orange now. All six of us were present and it was so fun to see the faces of all of our children when that sweet sound resonated across the Doppler. For Daddy and Mommy it is much encouragement that things are progressing normally and gives us our first sounds of life to cherish. We are all becoming very excited and anxious to meet this little gift.
Andrew asks me almost everyday if the baby is big enough for him to feel it kick yet. He cannot wait for this to happen and I too am excited with him. I asked him if the baby was a boy what name he would give the baby...without hesitation "Larry". After Larry the cucumber from Veggie Tales of course. I then asked him what name he would give the baby if it were a girl...he thought for a moment then replied with a shrug "That would be Kathlena's business" Such a thoughtful boy and clever too! Well, thankfully all can rest assured that Daddy and Mommy will have the final say on names and I am thinking that Larry probably isn't going to make the cut, but we appreciate Andrew's thoughts.

Below is a recording Emily made of Baby Shiflet's very strong heartbeat. Coming in at 160-170 beats/min. Kathlena was quite fascinated with the Doppler machine and once that heartbeat came across the speaker she jumped up and went straight for the speaker to get a closer listen followed by all her other siblings. We were all smiles. Thank you my sweet Emily for recording this precious moment in Shiflet history for us to cherish.

You can turn the music off in the sidebar so you can hear the audio. It is a short clip, but such a sweet sound.

Spring Fever in the Garden

This is what we see when we open the bag to find that the

praying mantis's have hatched. Now keep in mind this is

only one egg that has hatched as each egg hatches 500-600

tiny praying mantis's.

Emily displaying her little praying mantis she is releasing.

Andrew holding his little praying mantis.

Kathlena holding a tiny praying mantis.

We have been busy building a new garden this year. Tilling, hauling in dirt, stringing hot wire fence to keep the deer out and finally planting. About six weeks ago I purchased some praying mantis eggs off of ebay so that the kids could watch them hatch and then we could release them into the garden. They are ferocious bug eaters! So, they make for good pest control in the garden. We did this last year too and it was so fun to see the hundreds of tiny praying mantis's crawl out of the bag.

Today we found that one of the eggs had hatched so we headed out to the garden to release them. Here are a few short video clips and some pictures we took. Andrew and Kathlena are loving gardening...I can hardly wait til harvest time as they will so enjoy picking the fruit of their labor.

Graduation Day

Well graduation day from trikes and Like-a Bike's that is! Andrew rode a bicycle for the first time...he made it look so easy. For him it was (and I think largely it was) because he learned to balance a bike on what is called a Like-a-Bike. Thank you again Paw-Paw and Grandmommie-it really worked. Andrew never used training wheels, he just learned to balance by using the like a bike which is a small bike with no pedals. He has been zipping around on this since last summer...even with his patch on he could navigate it with great ease. He had been asking to try and ride a "real" bicycle so we pulled out the bike we had saved for him and amazingly he just took off on it without any help. Watching him make turns and zip by sure doesn't look like someone who just learned to ride a few minutes before. Here is the video we shot of him below.


Now Kathlena has graduated to the Like a bike. She looks just like Andrew did when he first began, so I am sure she will be zipping around too in no time. This bike was an investment that really paid off as balance is one of the hardest parts of riding the bike and this bike helps kids achieve confidence in riding quickly so they can focus on maneuvering the bike. Here is a little clip of Kathlena taking her maiden voyage on the Like a Bike.

First Adjustment

Our first adjustments with the Chiropractor went pretty well. Andrew is liking them. He really likes the part where he gets to play with the toys in the waiting room, but he also did very well for Dr. Ky. Andrew actually received two adjustments today. He went early with Daddy for x-rays and was also adjusted. No surprises from the x-rays so that was good.
All of us went back a few hours later for our adjustments. Kathlena was very curious and watched closely as Dr. Ky adjusted E and J first then her. She liked it...especially the Cheeto crunch. Kathlena also showed some severe C1 and C2 misalignment's...not surprising as a result of her head tilt. We are hoping this will help her as well for her nystagmus and to strengthen her neck. She was really excited about her first time to go to the "fire cracker" this is what she calls the Chiropractor.
After their first adjustments I was talking to Dr. Ky and the kids went back over to the play area. I catch Andrew out of the corner of my eye pushing on something on the floor...almost as if administering CPR. I casually walk closer to see Kathlena on the floor with her arms crossed and Andrew pushing on her chest giving her an "adjustment". While I suppose this is the Chiropractic equivalent to playing doctor. I quickly suggested to both of them that we leave the adjusting to Dr. Ky.
I must say from my own adjustment that I have felt really good. Oddly, my nausea is gone. Hmm...I originally thought it to be unrelated except that it happened after my first adjustment too. It lasted for about 2 days then the nausea was back. Thankfully, I was in the next day and now it is gone again. I go back Mon. so we'll see if it holds.
I couldn't let the day go unnoticed. It has been 10 months today since our precious Andrew and Kathlena officially became Shiflets. It seems a lifetime ago since then and yet hard to believe not even a year yet.

Providential Postponement

We were two weeks from surgery, but have now decided to wait another 2 months. Over the past week and half we have been working with a Chiropractic Neurologist. This began as a search to help alleviate some back and neck pain that David has had chronically for years now and that I have started having 4 weeks ago; I think pregnancy related. Anyway, in the course of evaluating and working with Dr. Ky we decided to go ahead and have the kids evaluated also. As it turns out Andrew was off the chart in an area in the neck that is considered critical to a healthy central nervous system. This particular area is known for affecting the eyes as well.
After much prayer we decided to postpone Andrew's surgery a few months to give Dr. Ky a chance to work on Andrew and just see if he improves. If nothing else we believe it will help Andrew to be in better shape for the surgery.
I am not quite sure why this surgery thing has been such a difficult process for us. Everyone we have talked to who has had the surgery says it is a "piece of cake" as far as surgery goes. It seems just as we have dealt with it and moved forward with plans for surgery something providentially steps in that causes us to postpone. Maybe we have just needed more time; I do not know, but we prayerfully weigh what is best for Andrew and desire for him the very best outcome for his vision. I never knew how hard it is when there are so many varying opinions of treatment to single out what is the best one for the whole kid. I feel like I am constantly coming back to focus on what is best for Andrew as a whole child not just a pair of eyes. That may seem strange, but over the course of 10 months David and I have desperately tried to keep that perspective because Andrew has been changing so rapidly in so many areas one month it may seem like there is a problem but it resolves itself the next or because of the severity of trying to "fix" one thing it throws other areas out of whack. One thing is for sure it has kept us on our face before the Lord in Andrew's behalf causing us to trust the Lord more with each new challenge.
I should also note that Dr. Mazow gave us the option of waiting until summer anyway to do Andrew's surgery it was only because we believed nothing else could be done that we pursued surgery so quickly. We have now moved surgery to May 27, 2009...Lord willing. For now we will continue to patch 6-8hrs daily to "hold" his vision and begin tomorrow with Andrew's first adjustments at the Chiropractor.

Moving on to surgery

We knew we would eventually be at this point and now the time has finally come. Today we had Andrew's monthly follow up exam with Dr. Mazow. We have had no progress in two months so we are certain we have hit our plateau at 20/60 vision. We are thrilled though to have regained this much vision and praise the Lord for his healing and mercy on Andrew. We have scheduled Andrew's surgery for about a month from now; April 1st to be exact. It will be an outpatient procedure downtown at the Medical complex. Dr. Mazow only wants to do surgery on the left eye and not the right eye since it is in good shape. He will reposition the left eye to have a straighter alignment. We will likely have to continue some patching after surgery, but only a few hours a day. For now though we will have to continue to patch all waking hours until his surgery in one month. We are very pleased and thankful for Dr. Mazow and his staff. They have all been very kind and helpful.

I did notice in Andrew's eye exam today how much more confident he is in naming his letters and naming them quickly. I think he is becoming much more comfortable with Dr. Mazow and his staff. To their credit they work hard to make the kids feel at ease and Dr. Mazow is never in a hurry with us. He always takes time to visit with Andrew and us. This has been an added bonus in his eye exams to see how much he is progressing not only visually, but socially, cognitively and linguistically in a different environment.

For Andrew the patching has been challenging for him to continue to catch up academically in English and socially. With poor vision he often misses some of the nuances and social cues that he is so good at picking up on when he is not patched. I know that it has been a huge blessing for him to be home schooled as he is not having to deal with negativity daily from peers that is often an additional hardship for kids with vision issues who are in a government or private school environment. We have had a few encounters with curious and sometimes insensitive strangers of all ages when we are out and about going to museums, stores, parks etc. This has provided an opportunity to address how to handle other peoples rudeness and sometimes just innocent curiosity with the security and safety of those who love him nearby to coach him and help him talk through how to respond to those situations in the future. He is not being left daily to fend for himself all alone to retreat inwardly to cope or act out agressively to defend himself. I am also thankful for the precious kids that Andrew goes to church with that are so tender and thoughtful to Andrew. Looking out for him and making sure he is not left out or in harms way as he may not always see something coming at him. To God be the glory for all that He is doing in Andrew's life. Andrew is truly an amazingly resilient little boy whom the Lord is redeeming the time lost. He becomes more precious to me everyday and I could not imagine my life without him in it. The Lord has and continues to teach me much through Andrew's eyes.

Kathlena also had her first evaluation with Dr. Mazow today. She seemed as if eye exams were routine for her when she bounded into the chair with her ponytail wagging and her big smile. Her happiness is contagious...you can't help, but smile from the inside out when you are around her. Since, she has been to all of Andrew's eye appointments observing what to do she was quite ready and so glad to have her turn. It would seem that her nystagmus has lessened in frequency and Dr. Mazow commented that it seemed very "controlled". He wants us back in 3 months to keep check on it as we were unable still to get a vision test on her. She is not quite able to comprehend reliably what is being asked of her, but this is not unusual for her age. She will be 4yrs. old by her next visit and we have a chart to work with her on for next time. Dr. Mazow was in no hurry to talk surgery for Kathlena that as long as she is showing progress and the nystagmus lessening he wants to continue to observe her for now.