Day 1 at the Orphanage

Through Mommy's eyes:
Our day began with visiting our little boy first. He is in an orphanage outside of the city of Arkhangelsk. It is an orphanage that houses children ages 4-17. While there we saw a number of older children mostly 10 and up.

We were quickly ushered into the orphanage director’s office. Dina is a delightful woman, possibly the first smile I had seen since leaving Alex in St. Petersburg. She honestly loves the children and wants them to be adopted into a family. I really liked her…she answered all of our questions, and what she could not answer she tried to find out for us.

Andrew came into the room unexpectedly, for us. He was quiet, shy and kept his head down at first not knowing what was going on. Dina began asking him questions that he gave simple answers to, just like any young boy would. She then asked him to draw a picture for us. At first he used his left hand then he switched and used his right hand then he drew a sun. It is beautiful and detailed…he spent a good while on it perfecting it. I kept it to frame…his first artwork for us. We talked some with the orphanage doctor, and then Dina told us that we could take Andrew with us…for the whole day. We were quite shocked at this but jumped at the chance to spend so much time with him. We all bundled up in our jackets and headed out…without thinking I reached out my hand to grab Andrew’s and he took mine. It was over from there for me…I knew he was mine. Not because he had taken my hand but because the Lord washed over my heart with the picture of us one day soon leaving this orphanage together for good. As we walked down three flights of stairs I could not hold back the tears of relief and joy that this day had finally come and I was holding the tiny hand of my long-awaited son. While waiting for the cab to arrive we saw dozens of children walking hand and hand to school from the orphanage. Andrew was waving wildly with excitement telling the children “Das vee DON ya!”(goodbye) I looked at David and said “I think he thinks we are taking him home today”. “I think he is just saying bye”, David said, but the next day we would find out that in fact he did think he was leaving the orphanage with us today. It broke my heart.

The cab ride to the other orphanage with Andrew was so much fun. He talked up a storm but we did not know what he was saying. He would just smile at us though. He is quite patient with us already. We had given him a tractor and he liked playing with the wheels on it. He kept a firm grip on it.

We arrived at Kathlena’s orphanage. We spoke with the social worker and she gave us a recap mostly of the information we had been given on Kathlena. Finally, Kathlena is brought to us. She immediately heads for the toys. She loved the shape sorter bucket. She talked and played with the kids at first. I got on the floor with her and she would bring me the bucket to open so she could put the legos and shapes in it that would not fit through the holes. She was only allowed to stay with us briefly as she was to be put down for her two hour nap. We were told that we could come back later and visit her again today. She gave hugs freely as she left the room...a sweet girl...our little girl.

This orphanage is quite different than Andrew’s. Schedules are strictly kept even when adoptive parents are visiting. The children here are not allowed outside for their first year of life. Kathlena has been moved to a new group in the past 3 months so she is now allowed to go outside briefly in the warmer months, and she is almost 3yrs old.

We later met with the neurologist to go over more medicals. The neurologist was a warm lady who seems to really care for the children and seemed very thorough in her work with Kathlena.

Now, with several hours before we can see Kathlena we are told we can go back to our hotel and again to our surprise we are allowed to take Andrew with us unsupervised. Wow! And this was such a sweet time with him. We really had the opportunity to feel like a family for a few hours; it was precious time with him.

We head back to Kathlena’s orphanage and have a chance to play with the kids in a room to ourselves. It was a small room I must say for the six of us, and quite warm. Kathlena seemed tired and a little distant…perhaps all of the commotion going on with the boys chasing balloons wildly was over stimulation for her. She did love the bubbles though and would crawl into my lap with the blanket we gave her. This was the first real glimpse of our lives together as six. It was a bit overwhelming for me and I had moments of “Wow! Do we really know what we are doing?” Thankfully, the Lord quieted our fears and gave us a peace that this is His plan.

We then took Andrew back to his orphanage and said our goodbyes until tomorrow. We were all exhausted…

Through Daddy’s eyes:

I didn’t sleep well at all Monday night, tossing and turning thinking of meeting the kids Tuesday morning. We thought we had to go to the Ministry of Education before going to the orphanage, but were pleasantly surprised to hear that our caseworker in Russia was able to appear on our behalf instead. We went directly to Andrew’s orphanage at around 10am local time, while our family and friends back home slept soundly (9 hours behind us).

As we talked to the director in her office through our translator, I got the sense that it would be awhile before we saw Vladimir, or “Volva” as we learned he is called. But within just a few minutes, I turned around and saw a little boy coming in dressed in a snow suit, complete with hat. He looked like a little man. My little man. I helped him take a seat at the table next to me, and it took some effort to keep from scooping him up in my lap. After all of these months and thousands of miles, my newest son was sitting mere inches from me. I didn’t expect to be attached immediately, but there is something about his presence that makes that easy. He has a charming smile and engaging eyes that promised much more personality than we had seen yet. He was very reserved at first, and we had to be reserved too. He didn’t know who we were, but he began to figure things out quickly.

The itinerary for the day was to take him across town to the other orphanage to meet Kathlena, but we didn’t know we would actually get to take him with us in our car. It was at this point that we began to see his personality. He was sociable with some passing children outside near the car, and he began to warm up to us.

When we arrived at Kathlena’s orphanage, Andrew immediately began to play with toys and J.Michael on the floor of the office we were in, while we talked to the social worker at the 2^nd orphanage as we waited on Kathlena. We had asked in advance to see the children together on our trip, but we didn’t really want or expect that to happen on the first day, much less during our first meeting. By the time Kathlena came in, it was almost noon, and we had a crowd in this office with a small corner toy area. With everyone in the room, she hardly noticed us and went directly to playing with toys and with Andrew. We had only a few minutes with her before she was ushered off to lunch and nap-time for two hours.

The real treat of the first day was getting to take Andrew with just the four Shiflets to lunch. After a stop at a local market for some lunch stuff, we headed to our hotel for some sandwiches. Andrew was coming out of his shell right before our eyes. The quiet boy we first met surprised J.Michael as a skilled Russian Olympic wrestler within just a few hours (see the video for proof!).

The afternoon took us back to Kathlena's orphanage. As much as we enjoyed spending the time today with Andrew, it worked against us with Kathlena. The orphanage staff placed the six of us in a tiny playroom for a couple of hours with no interpreter. The boys were keyed up pretty good, and Kathlena was overwhelmed. I think she also didn't feel well, and may have been taking cold medicine, although we never got a firm answer on that. We really need more time with her to get to know her. She has a very sweet personality; my bond with her hasn't been instant, but I look forward to getting to know my new, precious daughter.

Through Emily’s eyes: When Andrew first came in the room I reacted much like he did: timid, reserved, and unsure of what I should think; but that hardly lasted through the hour. In no time at all Andrew was calling us “Mama”, “Papa”, “Brat”, and “Sistra”, and was interacting with us as if he had known us all his life.

It was such a joy to play with him, as he told us all sorts of things in Russian, playing with us and the various toys around him, his laughter filling the air, and his smile-I'm grinning even now as I recall it-it was irresistible with those grinning blue eyes. As for me, I went home that night with confidence that yes, in my heart he was already my brother, and had been since before time began. The Lord has ordained it to be so, even though the Russian law says not until our court date is he legally my brother.

When Kathlena first came in I was primarily focused with getting some good pictures and video, so I didn't really get to be with her much for the those first few minutes she was with us. She soon was ushered off to her nap, and we were told that we could come back in a couple hours to see her again before she goes to bed.

Later, when we came back, we were led down several winding hallways and up numerous staircases until we got to a room where they left the six of us alone for a long while.

It was a very exciting yet exhausting night with bubbles floating about the room, balloons bouncing from wall to wall, and the hum of a large family in a small room.

Kathlena seemed very tired and worn that day and therefore disinterested in us and a lot of what we were doing. I was very thankful that we still had another day to get to know Kathlena, so instead of dwelling on how much I lost that day, I looked forward to what I hoped to gain tomorrow.

Through J.Michael’s eyes:

When I first saw Andrew he seemed smaller than I thought. I really enjoyed playing with him. He seemed to like me and want to play with me. He took me by surprise though when we were at the hotel. He jumped up and wanted to wrestle. In no time he had me on the ground in a headlock...suddenly he was pretty strong for a little guy. I definitely think we will have lots of fun running and playing in our backyard at home.
Kathlena is cute and actually pretty big for her age. She climbed into my lap and wanted me to hold her. I think that she likes me too.