Today was the day we knew would come but have not looked forward to. We had to put our beloved bird dog, Charlie, down. A month ago we found out that he had a tumor on his heart and in his nose. The tumor came on quickly and has grown rapidly in the past month. Over the last few days it became apparent that the time had come. As the tumor on his nose has grown rapidly, spreading and disfiguring his face, we had concerns of it spreading to his brain, and we did not want to have memories of the results of that happening. We are thankful to have had 10+ yrs with Charlie and especially this past month. David tried to find a vet who would come to our house and found one, but schedules didn't work out so we decided to go ahead and take Charlie to his clinic today. Thankfully, it is close to our home-Kainer Vet Hospital . We are very grateful for the help we received from Dr. Strecker and his staff over the past month. Dr. Streker was very kind and very sensitive to our family and situation.
Losing a longtime pet is never easy, especially when you have children. It has been hardest on J.Michael, as he doesn't remember a time without Charlie. Charlie has been a wonderful companion to all of us and even Andrew and Kathlena for the past 7 months. It has been difficult to explain something as complex as tumors, death, animals dying, and how when animals die it is different than people, but it has produced good conversations for us to have as a family. For us all to talk about being good stewards of the animals under our care. To walk through loss together openly and honestly.
Charlie left us in his gentle sweet fashion, without a whimper he drifted off to sleep and was gone. Once the Vet finished he graciously left us alone and said we could have all the time we needed. After he left J.Michael hugged Charlie and sobbed, I had been in tears since this morning waiting for that heartbreaking moment. As we all sobbed and tried to comfort each other I saw Andrew watching J.Michael as tears began streaming down his cheeks. I told him it was okay to be sad and he hugged me and began to sob. His heart broke too for his brother, J.Michael, for his family and for this dog that he had only known for a little while, but had grown to love...attached to. Andrew continued to watch and pet Charlie's paw when I hear Kathlena say "Charlie Boo-Boo, nose". She has been Mommy's little helpoor in caring for Charlie this past month. I pick her up and tell her that Charlie is gone and she begins to cry and cry; she loved Charlie too. Neither her nor Andrew have responded to loss with grief in this way. The Lord gave us one final gift through Charlie...Andrew and Kathlena responding to grief and pain appropriately emotionally. To feel the sting of loving something and losing it. As part of this family our joys and triumphs as well as our pain and grief in life are shared. Earlier as we all sat waiting for the vet to come in, I was trying very hard to no avail to keep tears from continuing to leak out and run down my face; sweet Andrew reaches up without a sound and wipes away my tear...he never spoke a word or question. I remember thinking that was unusual at the time for him not to ask why or comment. Later, it all came into focus. As painful as loss is of any kind, we had a renewing today of strength to persevere, trusting the Lord to guide us through life's ups and downs, walking along the way with our children and teaching them all of these things (Deuteronomy 6).
He indeed is sovereign over all, and he uses all of His creation to glorify Himself. Often, as He did today, He uses elements of His creation to reveal something about Himself: His faithfulness, His mercy, His tenderness. As we have lost a dog we all loved, we have gained fresh insight into God's active hand in our family. He who knows when a sparrow falls can use even grief-especially grief-to remind us of truths that we often forget. "For I consider that the sufferings of this present time are not worth comparing with the glory that is to be revealed to us...For we know that the whole creation has been groaning together in the pains of childbirth until now." (Romans 8:18, 22). Charlie's body was ravished by a nasty cancer-evidence of the groaning of all of creation because of sin. But by means of the death of a dog, our God has drawn us closer to each other and to Himself, and reminded us that all of this world is under a curse of death and is passing away. But a new creation awaits all who believe! "For in this hope we were saved. Now hope that is seen is not hope. For who hopes for what he sees? But if we hope for what we do not see, we wait for it with patience" (Romans 8:24-25). And sometimes, because He is so good, He lets us see a little glimpse now, even before our waiting is complete.
We will miss our Charlie, but we praise the Lord for His faithfulness and graciousness towards us, teaching us and pointing us back to His word in all situations. Whether it is in the timing of when to let go of a beloved pet or patiently believing and waiting to see the fruit of attachment that adoptive parents by faith long to see in their children through it all we draw near to the Lord for the strength and wisdom to pursue His purposes.
David and J.Michael picked out Charlie's favorite spot in the yard, near the burning pile that he loved to sniff around for snakes, and critters and dug the hole together for Charlie. Chase (our other dog) also got to sniff Charlie good bye...he will miss him most of all.
