An Interview with Andrew and Kathlena

Remembering 1yr ago today

Andrew at 4 almost 5

Andrew today at 6...learning to write his name
and read in English.

Kathlena we believe at 2yrs old

Kathlena today sitting with her dog "Chase"

in our front yard.

One year ago today we received the news we had longed to hear, "We have a referral for a couple of kids". I don't think I will ever forget that moment of running about our ordinary day and answering that phone call. I was stunned, surprised, excited, terrified, crying inside, cautiously trying to guard my heart the next moment ready to get on a plane, afraid of medical information and no information, but so hopeful that this was really my two babies that I had prayed for years to meet. Staring at 4 little pictures and 3 pieces of paper we mostly didn't understand; thousands of unanswered questions would pass through our minds, but then were quieted by faith and hope that the Lord would give us what we needed when we needed it. It was by that faith that we ultimately accepted those unanswered questions this side of the Atlantic and began believing these are our longed for children, clinging even more to the Lord to trust what we could not see or understand at the time.

Over the next three weeks our hearts were drawn to this far away place called Arkhangelsk, Russia that we would soon lay eyes on and never forget this city because it held our precious Andrew and Kathlena, the place of their birth. Adopting Andrew and Kathlena has tested and challenged us on so many levels. We had no idea how hard and how wonderful this journey would be. You begin this journey with this burning desire that somewhere out in this world are children that are yours. You have no names or faces to look for only groping through the dark, trusting and believing they are out there. As we fought through the system to be given approval to adopt it was in our weakest moments that the Lord strengthened us to become more resolved at all costs through every hardship that He had given us kids to bring home--our hearts ached to know them. As in all fights there are bumps and bruises, moments of "I QUIT!, this is too hard and maybe we were wrong, this is never going to happen!" then after much time before the throne of God we would get back up--stronger, more committed and resolute to find and bring home the children we believed the Lord had given us(John 10:29;Romans 8:37-39; Jude 24-25).

Adoption-the beautiful picture of redemption. Through it all we were washed anew with a vivid picture of our own redemption in Christ. Paying a debt we could not pay, rescuing us out of a life of sin and misery(although we didn't always see it as miserable-as we were dead in our sin), given a new life-hope in Christ our Saviour. Walking(and sometimes running!) through this adoption we recaptured the picture of God's grace through salvation in His son. Earthly adoptions remind us of our own greatest deliverance through Christ alone. One day Andrew and Kathlena will have to sort through their understanding of their earthly adoption and we pray that the answers they seek will always lead them back to their saviour, Jesus Christ who sovereignly delivered them to us in their earthly adoption and we pray earnestly for His ultimate deliverance of them as their Lord and Saviour, and only redeemer for their second adoption for eternity.

Ophthalmology Update...progress!!!

We went for our follow-up appointment today with Dr. Mazow, Andrew's pediatric ophthalmologist (maybe I will finally learn how to spell this word!) who specializes in strabismus and amblyopia. We were so thrilled to find out that Andrew had improved 3 lines, from 20/100 to 20/60. He is almost back to where we thought he was at last summer, although now we have to wonder if he really was 20/50 since two other Dr.s showed him at best 20/70. At any rate it was a great relief to have him going in the right direction. So, we continue to patch all waking hours for another month and pray we can get him to 20/30. This is Dr. Mazow's optimum for him before surgery. The truth is this would truly be a miracle given the likely length of time he has gone untreated as we believe him to have had this since birth. We trust our sovereign Lord and pray His will be done as He created Andrew's eyes and knew all of this would come to pass.
Dr. Mazow will do the surgery even if Andrew does not improve from where he is right now, but we are unsure how long he will wait. I believe as long as Andrew is showing improvement that we will continue to patch month to month. Once progress plateaus I am sure we will begin to talk about surgery options.

Patching all waking hours is difficult. We are seeing some changes in Andrew. As you can imagine he tires more easily, concentration and focusing on tasks has become much more challenging for him. In the evening I can more visibly see his nystagmus in the left eye as he is so tired. It is a sacrifice as his learning has slowed also although he continues to amaze us with his impeccable auditory learning and memory. The Lord has given him such a sweet spirit of perseverance and joyful attitude with all of this. Of course that smile says it all. We know the sacrifice is short term for long term benefits. We trust the Lord to guide us to make the best decisions for all of Andrew not just his eyes.

Dr. Mazow was so excited and so good with Andrew. It was a good day as we all went to this appointment together so, we all got to share the joy of this news first hand. In talking with the Orthoptist she noticed Kathlena's head tilt and we talked to her about Kathlena's nystagmus. We will be taking Kathlena in for evaluation at Andrew's next visit too. We feel so blessed by Dr. Mazow and his staff. All of them have been so good to us and the kids. We praise the Lord for leading us to this Dr. at just the right time.

I continue to research on both nystagmus and strabismus and surgical options. A book that has been very helpful to me is Navigating Nystagmus with Your Doctor. The man who wrote it has lived with nystagmus his whole life and fought to get the treatment he needed. He has done tons of research and even has yahoo groups of people who share this diagnosis. There have been some new surgical procedures in the last decade that may be what Andrew and/or Kathlena will need. I am continually in awe of how the Lord is providing for them in ways I could never have imagined.

Both Andrew and Kathlena continue to grow in stature and knowledge. They are truly incredible kids. I am so privileged to be their mom.

After our appointment we headed over to the Houston Zoo. That Zoo pass is going to get lots of use as we are going monthly for Dr. appointments. Here are some pictures from our day.

My beautiful girls!

Zebras were Andrew's favorite.

This little lizard was too funny. It was playing with Kathlena.

It would jump towards the glass at her and she would giggle.

I wished I had videoed it. It was too cute! The reptiles are not

usually so lively so we were surprised.

Andrew and Kathlena's first time on a carousel. They are

hooked now and can't wait to go back next month to ride

again.

Daddy is coming to pick us up and none too soon

as the littles are ready for a nap. It has been a long,

exciting day. Mommy is ready for a nap too!

Merry 1st Christmas

Our family portrait (this was the best of over a hundred
hillarious shots...shiflet portraits are always so much fun to get!)

Emily and J.Michael so grown up!

Bubbie and Kathlena

Andrew and Bubbie

Is this not the cutest picture? I know I am
a little bias.

Our first Christmas was full of the wonder of seeing it for the first time through Andrew and Kathlena's eyes. We read through the story of Joseph and Mary and baby Jesus in Luke 2 each night the week before Christmas. While the kids didn't wake us tooo early they were quite eager to find out what was in there wrapped presents under the tree. We opened some on Christmas Eve, Eve, then on Christmas Eve and then again on Christmas morning before heading on the road for a week of visiting family.

Andrew's favorites were his crane truck and legos. J.Michael's were his erector and lego sets that he built the very next day. Kathlena had fun with some kitchen accessories like her mixer and coffee maker so she can be like Mom. Sweet Emily got more yarn for knitting blankets and a longed for new watch. Mom and Dad received the Clearplay DVD player that we have been wanting for our family movie nights. It works great and love that we can now watch movies without the excessive gore, language, and nudity.

Christmas Day Eve we headed to Hillsboro for Christmas with the Davis's (my parents and brother, a.k.a Nana and Doodad (Dewey) and Uncle Todd). We had so much fun as always visiting until late at night, playing games, and exchanging gifts. We also had fun taking pictures together in the plaid disney p.j.'s my mom got for all of us. Here are a few pictures.

First annual Davis-Shiflet Family Christmas

Plaid P.J. Portrait.

Grandparents and grandkids portrait.

...10 seconds before last picture.

Isn't red a good color for us?

On Friday we headed over to Garland to have Christmas with the Shilet side of the family. The kids of course excited to see their PawPaw and Grandmommie, Uncle Steve and his family and Uncle Paul. Emily and J.Michael immediately persuaded Grandmommie into a game of Monopoly.

Let the buying begin!

J.Michael "money bags" Shiflet was cleaning up this game.

Meanwhile, PawPaw was showing Andrew and Kathlena

how to build with these really cool blocks.

J.Michael and Daddy enjoy playing with one of their new toys.

J.Michael even managed to get me the photographer in to

the fun. I love this picture that smile says it all.

For those waiting....The Last Christmas

I share a love of Christmas music with my dear friend Mitzi who is patiently waiting for the birth of their 3rd child any day. This song reminded me of her today as well as many others I know of who are waiting for referrals, court dates, and paper work to move from one desk to another (Green Family)so that their children can come home to their new family. This song from Six Pence None the Richer called The Last Christmas is about the last Christmas without their child that is to be born later in the spring. May the Lord extend an extra measure of grace to those who are patiently waiting on their children to arrive by birth and adoption this Christmas.

I remember last year wondering if our longed for children would be home the next year by Christmas...praying that they would be and now here they are celebrating Christmas with us for the first time. Last Christmas seems so long ago and all of the agony of waiting seems to be a distant memory once you are home, holding them and loving them, but when you are in the midst of waiting at times it is unbearable. Unforeseen delays were the hardest for me to take and it seemed I would break...then after much prayer and encouragement from my sweet husband I would get back up and trust the Lord even more to move the current mountain(reason for delay) in front of us at the time. He was always faithful to give us the strength and perseverance to press on and He continues to do so as we raise our children.

It is also hard to believe that it has been one year ago since starting the blog. I have loved sharing our journey with friends, family, and friends of friends. I look back at this past year and stand in awe of what the Lord has done. We look forward to 2009 and all that the Lord will do in us and through us. Thank you sweet family and friends for walking along this journey with us.

Loss and Attachment

Today was the day we knew would come but have not looked forward to. We had to put our beloved bird dog, Charlie, down. A month ago we found out that he had a tumor on his heart and in his nose. The tumor came on quickly and has grown rapidly in the past month. Over the last few days it became apparent that the time had come. As the tumor on his nose has grown rapidly, spreading and disfiguring his face, we had concerns of it spreading to his brain, and we did not want to have memories of the results of that happening. We are thankful to have had 10+ yrs with Charlie and especially this past month. David tried to find a vet who would come to our house and found one, but schedules didn't work out so we decided to go ahead and take Charlie to his clinic today. Thankfully, it is close to our home-Kainer Vet Hospital . We are very grateful for the help we received from Dr. Strecker and his staff over the past month. Dr. Streker was very kind and very sensitive to our family and situation.

Losing a longtime pet is never easy, especially when you have children. It has been hardest on J.Michael, as he doesn't remember a time without Charlie. Charlie has been a wonderful companion to all of us and even Andrew and Kathlena for the past 7 months. It has been difficult to explain something as complex as tumors, death, animals dying, and how when animals die it is different than people, but it has produced good conversations for us to have as a family. For us all to talk about being good stewards of the animals under our care. To walk through loss together openly and honestly.

Charlie left us in his gentle sweet fashion, without a whimper he drifted off to sleep and was gone. Once the Vet finished he graciously left us alone and said we could have all the time we needed. After he left J.Michael hugged Charlie and sobbed, I had been in tears since this morning waiting for that heartbreaking moment. As we all sobbed and tried to comfort each other I saw Andrew watching J.Michael as tears began streaming down his cheeks. I told him it was okay to be sad and he hugged me and began to sob. His heart broke too for his brother, J.Michael, for his family and for this dog that he had only known for a little while, but had grown to love...attached to. Andrew continued to watch and pet Charlie's paw when I hear Kathlena say "Charlie Boo-Boo, nose". She has been Mommy's little helpoor in caring for Charlie this past month. I pick her up and tell her that Charlie is gone and she begins to cry and cry; she loved Charlie too. Neither her nor Andrew have responded to loss with grief in this way. The Lord gave us one final gift through Charlie...Andrew and Kathlena responding to grief and pain appropriately emotionally. To feel the sting of loving something and losing it. As part of this family our joys and triumphs as well as our pain and grief in life are shared. Earlier as we all sat waiting for the vet to come in, I was trying very hard to no avail to keep tears from continuing to leak out and run down my face; sweet Andrew reaches up without a sound and wipes away my tear...he never spoke a word or question. I remember thinking that was unusual at the time for him not to ask why or comment. Later, it all came into focus. As painful as loss is of any kind, we had a renewing today of strength to persevere, trusting the Lord to guide us through life's ups and downs, walking along the way with our children and teaching them all of these things (Deuteronomy 6).

He indeed is sovereign over all, and he uses all of His creation to glorify Himself. Often, as He did today, He uses elements of His creation to reveal something about Himself: His faithfulness, His mercy, His tenderness. As we have lost a dog we all loved, we have gained fresh insight into God's active hand in our family. He who knows when a sparrow falls can use even grief-especially grief-to remind us of truths that we often forget. "For I consider that the sufferings of this present time are not worth comparing with the glory that is to be revealed to us...For we know that the whole creation has been groaning together in the pains of childbirth until now." (Romans 8:18, 22). Charlie's body was ravished by a nasty cancer-evidence of the groaning of all of creation because of sin. But by means of the death of a dog, our God has drawn us closer to each other and to Himself, and reminded us that all of this world is under a curse of death and is passing away. But a new creation awaits all who believe! "For in this hope we were saved. Now hope that is seen is not hope. For who hopes for what he sees? But if we hope for what we do not see, we wait for it with patience" (Romans 8:24-25). And sometimes, because He is so good, He lets us see a little glimpse now, even before our waiting is complete.

We will miss our Charlie, but we praise the Lord for His faithfulness and graciousness towards us, teaching us and pointing us back to His word in all situations. Whether it is in the timing of when to let go of a beloved pet or patiently believing and waiting to see the fruit of attachment that adoptive parents by faith long to see in their children through it all we draw near to the Lord for the strength and wisdom to pursue His purposes.

David and J.Michael picked out Charlie's favorite spot in the yard, near the burning pile that he loved to sniff around for snakes, and critters and dug the hole together for Charlie. Chase (our other dog) also got to sniff Charlie good bye...he will miss him most of all.

Christmas Piano Recital

Emily and J.Michael have been hard at work learning their pieces for their Christmas Piano Recital. Their piano teacher Miss Sarah Hulin(she is the one sitting directly behind the kids in the video) has been teaching them piano in our home. She has been a tremendous blessing to our family and a great encouragement to Emily and J.Michael to pursue excellence, practice diligently and to be challenged by trying more difficult pieces to play. J.Michael played "Psalm 1 and O Come, O Come, Emmanuel" and Emily played "Amazing Grace, My Chains are Gone and What Child is this?" . Emily also did the arrangement for What Child is This which was challenging for her but it turned out beautifully. Great Job! I am so proud of both of you and your willingness to share your gift of music with the residence of Silverado Senior Living Center. It was truly a blessed night. Silverado Senior Living Center is a place for seniors with memory diseases. Most of whom we visited were unable to have coherent conversations with us but the music blessed them and seeing the little children and being hugged on brought smiles to their faces. We were so blessed to be part of this ministry...thank you Sarah!

*remember to click pause on the playlist music in the left sidebar so you can hear the video

I apologize for the shaky footage in advance...I had a little helpoor. Nana you may need to have your doggie bag handy!

It's begining to look a lot like Christmas

Christmas has been something we have been trying to explain to Andrew for the past month. He here's this word and that is all it is to him...a word. He has no point of reference, no idea what this time of year is about. Today we put our Christmas tree up and began to talk about the meaning of Christmas and what we as Shiflet's celebrate...the birth of our Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ. We had fun putting ornaments on the tree one Shiflet tradition is to make ornaments each year and add to the tree. We have ornaments that Emily and J.Michael made when they were little and ones that have lasted from our very first Christmas together as a family, 14 yrs ago.

This year adding ornaments of Andrew and Kathlena's first Christmas. We also hang candy canes on the tree and each day we all get to choose one to eat! Yum...some of our favorites are Hershey's mint chocolate and Jolly Rancers candy canes.

Here are some small video clips of us decorating the tree:

Kathlena and the Christmas tree. Too cute hearing her say "christmas tree" We also let the kids decorate their rooms with lights. Kathlena calls these lights her Christmas tree and wants them on instead of her night light at bedtime and nap.

Placing their first ornaments on the tree.

Andrew's Eyes Update

Today, we went to see another ophthalmologist, Dr. Mazow of Houston Eye Center. In mid October under the advice of the optometrist we were seeing we stopped patching Andrew for his amblyopia. Once we concluded all of the testing with the optometrist and had our parent consult with the her we felt we needed to go back to an ophthalmologist as surgery is imminent (the one common thread through both dr.'s) and we were uneasy with the direction the optometrist was going. It would seem too much emphasis was being placed on his previous circumstances as empirical evidence was likely not reliable as a result of his English skills at the time of testing. So, we began patching again while we waited to get in to see Dr. Mazow as we were quite certain we would be going back to this. The more we read it seemed that in order to correct the amblyopia patching was the only way. I think this was our number one problem with the optometrist (even though we all wanted it to be true that there was another way other than patching) in that she said patching would not help him. It could be that she was willing to accept his acuity where it was and seek to improve other areas such as peripheral vision, but we were not ready to give up on him improving his acuity just yet.

Our visit with Dr. Mazow was as predicted and he concurred with our first ophthalmologist in that patching is what is needed and extensive patching in Andrew's case. So, we are back to patching all waking hours now for a month then we will go back to Dr. Mazow. He wants to keep a close check on him for signs of improvement. In Dr. Mazow's office he also had an orthoptist evaluate Andrew. She determined that he also has nystagmus in both eyes...it is very slight though. We both felt like we got a very thorough evaluation with Dr. Mazow and he is very experienced with strabismus and amblyopia. The trip to see him was not so fun as we were stuck in traffic for almost 2hrs to get to the appointment...you got to love Houston!

Please pray for Andrew...patching is hard. He is such a little trooper though. He is very compliant and knows that it is to help him see better, but it is still very hard. He tested at 20/100 at Dr. Mazow's office. When we began in July his vision was 20/50 then, 20/70 in October at the optometrist and now 20/100 so, it has doubled in 4 months. We only stopped patching for about 6 weeks. Even when we were patching it was getting worse...not sure why. We just continue to pray for wisdom and for healing for Andrew's eyes. Thank you for lifting him up to the Lord with us.

My Brother's Shipping Container House

My brother has always been the kind of person who sees things differently than most. He is incredibly creative and conceives ideas for inventions from most everything he sees around him. I remember this about him from the time he was little. He would always be taking something apart just to see if he could fix it or turn it into something else. He has rebuilt classic cars, invented a brush guard out of aluminum aircraft material, and much more than I can list. I remember a few years ago we went to the medical museum here in Houston with Emily and J.Michael and he came up with at least half a dozen ideas/inventions from ordinary things used
in a different way. I had been to this museum dozens of times and I never would have seen what he saw had he not pointed it out.

My brother is just like my Dad...they can fix anything. Growing up with my brother has been good for me to learn to look outside the box. The Lord was preparing me to be married to a
man who is like this who grew up with brothers and a Dad like mine. I marvel at that in an age when the things my brother and husband were taught are so rare.

My brother's latest project is building a house from recycled shipping containers. He is doing all of the work himself. He designed this house himself also. He has started a blog to chronicle it at My Shipping Container House My boys are so excited that their Uncle Todd has started this blog as they love to check on the newest equipment he is using (hoping they will get a chance to ride on it too) and to see the progress. Over Thanksgiving they got the chance to see it live (and ride all those cool construction vehicles). It is really cool and amazing how much work he has completed so far. We are so proud of him!


The man lift is so fun.

We all had to take turns riding.

J.Michael even got to operate it.

Here is a peek in the containers.

It was really cold so we were all trying to stay warm.


Andrew and J.Michael's dream...riding in an excavator!!


View from the second story of the container house.

Nana and Dewey

Dirt piles are so fun! It is a kid magnet.

King of the mountain

Okay....now we are king of the mountain.

Riding the big boy toys!!

The man lift is like riding a carnival ride only you are

operating it yourself.

Dozers, excavators, skid steers and man lifts

my boys (all three of them) will be riding these

in their sleep dreaming about what they could

be building one day too.

Thank you, Uncle Todd for taking us on rides and sharing

your building project with us through your blog. We can't

wait to see what happens next!